\u201cThe spirit \/ soul \/ self is \u2013 it\u2019s an untainted and fragile part of our being. It needs the body to hold it, it needs thoughts to frame it and it needs emotions to manifest itself and that is why we must be deliberate about what we construct around us and the world to build it up.\u201d Of Beauty<\/p>\n\n\n\n
In my previous post I presented the spirit \/soul \/self as the essential part of who we are that, though is not socially constructed, is greatly influenced by what is built around it. In that presentation I may have oversimplified the soul\u2019s surroundings, specifically the body which holds it, as just a container. However, the body is not an empty box to be reduced to its physical and biological properties \u2013 to only consider the saliency of the body is to centralize a medicalised representation of the body (Wolputte, 2004). Being a black, female body infected with HIV you fast realise how you experience your body, and illness is beyond medical paradigms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
As beauty is a social construct one, must recognize the body as an agent of social praxis and as Turner (1994) puts it, \u201cthe body must be understood as a relationship that is both subjective and objective, meaningful and material, personal and social\u201d. The body is the \u201cmaterial infrastructure\u201d of the production of self, belonging and identity (Wolputte, 2004). Thus, though the body is a physical entity, it is also representation. One must consider two bodies \u2013 a physical body and a social body that each constitute different realms of experiences. They mirror the physical into the social and cause the physical to be experienced in social terms. For instance, to reference my previous post again, I spoke of how in high school a peer came across a picture of a thin me and remarked how I, \u201clooked much better thinner\u201d. My thin body represented beauty, sexiness and health to her, as it does in many societies. \u201cThinness in dominant Western (and, increasingly, global) discourse is promoted as a symbol of self-control.\u201d (Wolputte, 2004). Unbeknownst to her, I was extremely sick in that picture, as my illness had become resistant to the medication. The slightly heavier me that stood before her had an undetectable viral load at the time, and yet I still felt a sense of shame for having gained weight. Socially, a bigger body is \u201cunhealthy,\u201d hence the disconnect between how I experienced my body physically, and how I experienced it socially. As a further example of how representational the body is in society, I once disclosed my status to someone, and her first remark was, \u201cno wonder you\u2019re so thin!\u201d Never mind Regardless of the state of my health at the time, for that person, the social stereotypes and stigma associated with HIV and AIDS were represented by my body. Based on the information I gave her, no longer was thin healthy, it was now HIV.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I feel it important to note that both people in these interactions were white girls. This is significant to me, because not only was I in full awareness of my illness, but my blackness. Black bodies are identified mostly by skin colour. Skin marks the boundary not only of the individual as a biological and psychological entity, but also of the social self (Wolputte, 2004). A social skin fashions the boundary between the individual and other social actors (Turner 1980 as cited in Wolputte, 2004). Bodily appearance mobilises identity \u2013 identities are public and shared aspects of individuals, that establish what and where a person is within the social structure (Kelly & Field, 1996). Black women occupy a lowly position and status within the social structure, hence having two white girls comment on my body felt no different than the white supremacy that has been marking parameters of body image for centuries. In this white supremacist system, a black woman encounters difficulty in the development of her body schema; consciousness of her body is a negating activity. As Fanon (1952) describes it, it is a \u201cthird-person consciousness,\u201d where the black body is surrounded by an atmosphere of certain uncertainty (Fanon, 1952 p258). Furthermore, these two white girls having assessed my body had \u201cwoven me out of a thousand details, anecdotes, stories\u201d \u2013 stereotypes. (Fanon, 1952 p258). Identities are read off and imputed by others on the basis of physical appearance. My body was more than a physiological self to balance space and localise sensations. Being a woman meant it was called on to be thin, to depict beauty, for sex. Being HIV positive meant it was no longer identified as beautiful or sexy but marked by illness. Being black meant the white girls felt entitled enough to tell me so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
There are many things said about my black, female, HIV positive body. Oversexualised stereotypes about black woman abound, historically, in the media and in broader society. Added to this is the common notion that HIV infection is a moral judgement for promiscuity. Not only am I \u201csealed into [a] crushing objecthood\u201d (Fanon, 1952 p257) but I am a sexual object that is damned by disease. The self is linked to the body, as they are often experienced simultaneously, and sometimes as one, however, when bodily demands and presentations conflict with self-presentation the individual becomes acutely aware of the divergence between body and self (Kelly & Field,1996). Chronic illness involves changes in self-conceptions which are reciprocal to bodily experiences, feelings and actions. I have undergone many transactions of self- conceptions, constantly undergoing transformations of self as I face my sickness daily. Kelly & Field (1996) describe illness as a \u201cnegotiated state\u201d whereby the relation between self and identity in chronic illness is a social process which alters through time, as bodily contingencies change. I am quite aware of how my body is examined and evaluated by society (often with the same seriousness of a medical evaluation), and unfortunately at times this leads to a self-objectification. Just as it is with beauty I have to do constant mental work to remind myself of the social constructions that work to limit me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Construct. Deconstruct. Reconstruct. Churn!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ultimately, I work to remind myself that this body is a home \u2013 a home for my spirit \/ soul \/ self. A home more dimensional than a houses\u2019 walls. Chronic complex. Crying. Joy. Dissonance. Inward. Aware. Dichotomous. Wonderfully, fearfully made. Black as it is, woman as it is, diseased as it\u2019s deemed. It is my home and beyond the social constructs I must live in here \u2013 truly LIVE in here.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Wolputte, SV. (2004) Hang On To Your Self: Of Bodies, Embodiment and Selves. Annu. Rev. Anthropol. , 33, 251-69<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Kelley, M.P. & Field D. (1996) Medical Sociology \u201cChronic Illness & The Body\u201d Sociology of Health & Illness, 18(2), 241 -257<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Frantz, F (1992). The Fact Of Blackness\u201d Donald James & Ratansi Ali (1992) (eds), Race, Culture and Difference, Sage, London<\/p>\n[\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][\/et_pb_section]\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
\u201cThe spirit \/ soul \/ self is \u2013 it\u2019s an untainted and fragile part of our being. It needs the body to hold it, it needs thoughts to frame it and it needs emotions to manifest itself and that is why we must be deliberate about what we construct around us and the world to build it up.\u201d Of Beauty<\/p>\n\n\n\n
In my previous post I presented the spirit \/soul \/self as the essential part of who we are that, though is not socially constructed, is greatly influenced by what is built around it. In that presentation I may have oversimplified the soul\u2019s surroundings, specifically the body which holds it, as just a container. However, the body is not an empty box to be reduced to its physical and biological properties \u2013 to only consider the saliency of the body is to centralize a medicalised representation of the body (Wolputte, 2004). Being a black, female body infected with HIV you fast realise how you experience your body, and illness is beyond medical paradigms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
As beauty is a social construct one, must recognize the body as an agent of social praxis and as Turner (1994) puts it, \u201cthe body must be understood as a relationship that is both subjective and objective, meaningful and material, personal and social\u201d. The body is the \u201cmaterial infrastructure\u201d of the production of self, belonging and identity (Wolputte, 2004). Thus, though the body is a physical entity, it is also representation. One must consider two bodies \u2013 a physical body and a social body that each constitute different realms of experiences. They mirror the physical into the social and cause the physical to be experienced in social terms. For instance, to reference my previous post again, I spoke of how in high school a peer came across a picture of a thin me and remarked how I, \u201clooked much better thinner\u201d. My thin body represented beauty, sexiness and health to her, as it does in many societies. \u201cThinness in dominant Western (and, increasingly, global) discourse is promoted as a symbol of self-control.\u201d (Wolputte, 2004). Unbeknownst to her, I was extremely sick in that picture, as my illness had become resistant to the medication. The slightly heavier me that stood before her had an undetectable viral load at the time, and yet I still felt a sense of shame for having gained weight. Socially, a bigger body is \u201cunhealthy,\u201d hence the disconnect between how I experienced my body physically, and how I experienced it socially. As a further example of how representational the body is in society, I once disclosed my status to someone, and her first remark was, \u201cno wonder you\u2019re so thin!\u201d Never mind Regardless of the state of my health at the time, for that person, the social stereotypes and stigma associated with HIV and AIDS were represented by my body. Based on the information I gave her, no longer was thin healthy, it was now HIV.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I feel it important to note that both people in these interactions were white girls. This is significant to me, because not only was I in full awareness of my illness, but my blackness. Black bodies are identified mostly by skin colour. Skin marks the boundary not only of the individual as a biological and psychological entity, but also of the social self (Wolputte, 2004). A social skin fashions the boundary between the individual and other social actors (Turner 1980 as cited in Wolputte, 2004). Bodily appearance mobilises identity \u2013 identities are public and shared aspects of individuals, that establish what and where a person is within the social structure (Kelly & Field, 1996). Black women occupy a lowly position and status within the social structure, hence having two white girls comment on my body felt no different than the white supremacy that has been marking parameters of body image for centuries. In this white supremacist system, a black woman encounters difficulty in the development of her body schema; consciousness of her body is a negating activity. As Fanon (1952) describes it, it is a \u201cthird-person consciousness,\u201d where the black body is surrounded by an atmosphere of certain uncertainty (Fanon, 1952 p258). Furthermore, these two white girls having assessed my body had \u201cwoven me out of a thousand details, anecdotes, stories\u201d \u2013 stereotypes. (Fanon, 1952 p258). Identities are read off and imputed by others on the basis of physical appearance. My body was more than a physiological self to balance space and localise sensations. Being a woman meant it was called on to be thin, to depict beauty, for sex. Being HIV positive meant it was no longer identified as beautiful or sexy but marked by illness. Being black meant the white girls felt entitled enough to tell me so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
There are many things said about my black, female, HIV positive body. Oversexualised stereotypes about black woman abound, historically, in the media and in broader society. Added to this is the common notion that HIV infection is a moral judgement for promiscuity. Not only am I \u201csealed into [a] crushing objecthood\u201d (Fanon, 1952 p257) but I am a sexual object that is damned by disease. The self is linked to the body, as they are often experienced simultaneously, and sometimes as one, however, when bodily demands and presentations conflict with self-presentation the individual becomes acutely aware of the divergence between body and self (Kelly & Field,1996). Chronic illness involves changes in self-conceptions which are reciprocal to bodily experiences, feelings and actions. I have undergone many transactions of self- conceptions, constantly undergoing transformations of self as I face my sickness daily. Kelly & Field (1996) describe illness as a \u201cnegotiated state\u201d whereby the relation between self and identity in chronic illness is a social process which alters through time, as bodily contingencies change. I am quite aware of how my body is examined and evaluated by society (often with the same seriousness of a medical evaluation), and unfortunately at times this leads to a self-objectification. Just as it is with beauty I have to do constant mental work to remind myself of the social constructions that work to limit me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Construct. Deconstruct. Reconstruct. Churn!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ultimately, I work to remind myself that this body is a home \u2013 a home for my spirit \/ soul \/ self. A home more dimensional than a houses\u2019 walls. Chronic complex. Crying. Joy. Dissonance. Inward. Aware. Dichotomous. Wonderfully, fearfully made. Black as it is, woman as it is, diseased as it\u2019s deemed. It is my home and beyond the social constructs I must live in here \u2013 truly LIVE in here.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Wolputte, SV. (2004) Hang On To Your Self: Of Bodies, Embodiment and Selves. Annu. Rev. Anthropol. , 33, 251-69<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Kelley, M.P. & Field D. (1996) Medical Sociology \u201cChronic Illness & The Body\u201d Sociology of Health & Illness, 18(2), 241 -257<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Frantz, F (1992). The Fact Of Blackness\u201d Donald James & Ratansi Ali (1992) (eds), Race, Culture and Difference, Sage, London<\/p>\n","_et_gb_content_width":"1080","footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-89","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-prose"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/namedconquer.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/89","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/namedconquer.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/namedconquer.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/namedconquer.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/namedconquer.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=89"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/namedconquer.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/89\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":92,"href":"https:\/\/namedconquer.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/89\/revisions\/92"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/namedconquer.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/90"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/namedconquer.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=89"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/namedconquer.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=89"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/namedconquer.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=89"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}